Imprints Kind of Suck
by ctwinter
Summary: Imprints aren't as infallible, fabulous or forever as everyone seems to think. Rated M for language and upcoming chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything except this made up fanfic.**

Rachel parked her old faded green Explorer in the gravelled area next to Sam and Emily's house. Nestled at the edge of the forest it was a tidy little white cottage with a red door. Pretty but generally unremarkable. Turning off the ignition, Rachel leaned over the steering wheel and prayed for strength. The upcoming conversation was overdue, unwelcome and just plain awkward as ass. Paul wasn't happy that she was here to poke a stick at the pack Alpha but he understood that it needed to be done before they all lost Leah. Losing Leah was not going to happen if the LaHotes had anything to say about it. From middle school up until Rachel went to college it had been a gang of six and a half: Sam, Leah, Rachel, Rebecca, Jared, Paul and whatever girl Paul was sticking it to that week. Since the St. Paulie girls rotated pretty regularly across Paul's bed the core group only allowed them to count as half a person. Hey, high school kids are unthinkingly cruel sometimes.

Jared and Rebecca were an on and off again couple until the end of junior year. Jared was more on than Rebecca. That summer before senior year changed everything for Rebecca when she discovered surfer dudes and started to hang out with a totally different group. Jared missed Rebecca's friendship and tits but since he was headed to college (and on the best of days Rebecca was the antithesis of a college girl) there wasn't any animosity. Only a very vague feeling that they were growing up and leaving each other behind. Rachel was the group virgin. Her lack of a dating life in high school was self-imposed as she worked her ass off to get good grades and earn a scholarship. Of course Paul the man-whore was going to fuck his way through La Push, then Forks, then Washington State and finally the Pacific Northwest. You couldn't say that the boy didn't aspire to something. Of course he would probably be enrolled in the antibiotic of the month club before reaching the female population on the outskirts of Seattle.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel stared at the cottage and thought about Leah and Sam. Two imperfect people who made perfect sense together. Leah's passion for life, her vocal personality and wicked sense of humor were balanced by Sam's quiet strength, his steadiness and his creativity. They were each other's greatest supporters. If Leah had decided to quit high school and study her belly button for the next 5 years then Sam would support her so that she could learn everything there was to know about her fascinating navel. If Sam chose to study medicine and then practice in a third world country then Leah would have made sure that his dream was realized even if that meant that she worked twelve part-time jobs. So long as they were together they were happy.

Then came phasing and the crap sandwich that is imprinting about a year after high school. After trying to gain control of his wolf by himself for several weeks so that Leah wouldn't get hurt, Sam had just re-established contact with her after she had gone out of her mind with worry. He came back and Leah accepted his explanation that he freaked out. Why wouldn't she believe him? It was her Sam and he would never lie to her. As a couple they found jobs, Sam in construction and Leah at the local library, while they took classes at the college in Port Angeles. They were saving money to fix up the house that Sam's grandmother left him the year before. It was going to be their house. Leah spent untold hours cleaning, painting and collecting furniture from junk shops.

When Sam came back from his wolfy adventure his smile wasn't as easily bestowed but he clung to Leah like never before. She was his anchor. For her part, after asking Sam what happened and being gently told that he couldn't talk about it, she accepted his answer trusting that he would tell her when he could talk about _it_. Whatever _it_ was.

Just as Leah and Sam were getting back to a normal routine all hell broke loose in the form of Emily Young. Leah's cousin Emily from the Makah reservation. Emily who was supposed to be Leah's sister and best friend. Safe, inclined towards domestic pursuits and devoid of any real personality Emily was pretty much everything that Leah wasn't. Leah went cliff diving, can't check that safe box. Leah could (and did) fuck up making Jello (it was actually lumpy), can't check that domestic box. Leah had many faults but being devoid of a personality wasn't one of them.

When Sam met Emily she became his "everything", his "gravity", his fucking soul mate. Within two weeks Sam began ignoring Leah, got with Emily, was promptly found rolling around on Seth's bed by Sue who screamed at them to leave her house and to keep their sorry over sexed asses away from her family, scarred Emily when she played at leaving him (because Emily was never going to walk away from Sam voluntarily but it does give such a sickening sugary and sweetly inspiring touch to the epic love of Emily and Sam, don't you think) and brought Emily to live with him in the house that Leah had fixed up and sweated over for months. Sam had a very busy fortnight. Leah moved back with her parents and began to shut down. She barely talked and rarely left her room.

Then a about three weeks after the love of her life left her, Leah was told by her father that Sam was going to propose to Emily and Leah phases in her living room. Watching his daughter sprout fur triggered her father's heart attack. Watching his father have a heart attack triggered her brother Seth's transformation into a wolf. Cause and effect on a fucking epic scale. Her dad was taken to the hospital, stabilized, had triple bypass and came home after a few weeks. Moral of the story? Frybread is hell on the heart. Especially if there is a chance that your children will grow up to have a tail.

Thinking of frybread made Rachel remember the hot coffee in her travel mug. Rachel would rather go without food for a week than not have coffee for a day. Taking a big swig she holds onto her travel mug for emotional support and starts walking to the front door. She knew that Sam could hear her approaching and was kind of surprised that he hadn't come out to check on her when she didn't come in to the door right away. Rolling her shoulders, she knocked on the door frame. Sam opened the door, stepped aside and ushered her in.

Smiling he asked, "What's up Rachel? Em's not here but she'll be back in a couple of hours."

Walking into the open kitchen area, Rachel put her coffee on the scarred kitchen table. It always amazed her that Emily kept everything that in the house the way Leah had arranged it. It was like a neon 'fuck you' to Leah every time she had to see her Sam wrapped around her cousin in what should have been Leah's house. No wonder it finally really got to Leah. No wonder she couldn't move on.

"Sam. I need to talk to you. It's about imprinting."

Continuing to smile, Sam said, "Well like I said, Em should be back in a couple of hours. This is her volunteer day at that the Tribal welcome center. I'm sure your questions are better put to another woman in your position."

"Please listen and get off the Alpha train. I didn't say that I have questions, I said that I needed to talk to you. I know that things have been weird between us since Paul and I got together but I want to clear the air and I think that I have some information that may be helpful to the other wolves."

Sitting down at the table while giving me a fucking paternal frown, Sam groused, "Still as bossy as ever. How does Paul stand it . . . "

Deciding that Sam probably couldn't have picked a better jumping off point if he had a fucking road map, Rachel sat down and started talking while looking Sam in the eye.

"Paul stands it because he loves me. And not because I'm his imprint." Sam's exhale of breathe sounded like a cannon in the still room. Rachel watched his face to see the progression from surprise to irritation. It took less than a second. Fucking magical imprinting.

"What the hell are you talking about! Of course he imprinted on you, we've all seen it." Looking smugly at his old friend, Sam leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. She noticed that he was clenching his fists.

"No Sam. Everyone assumed that I was his imprint and we didn't correct them."

"I would have noticed! Paul never thinks of you as anything but his imprint. His love for you is so strong and all-consuming that it could only be an imprint!"

"Think back Sam. To the night I came back home from school for the break. I came home a day early and no one was at my house. After waiting around for a few hours I walked town to the beach. Along the way I met up with your cousin Ellen and joined her friends at the other end of the beach. After awhile I began walking towards the bonfire and recognized Old Quil, dad, and Sue. You and your big ass wolves were unrecognizable from the spindly unhot adolescent boys I left behind. I called out to dad and Paul turned towards me looking stunned. I like to tell him that my naturally awe-inspiring sexiness was so overwhelming that I cured his chronic man-whore syndrome with a smile." Rachel smirked remembering Paul's first look at her in almost two years.

"You're lying! You're an imprint! How can you deny it?" Sam began to tremble.

"Sam, I can't deny what never was. Calm down and I'll tell you everything."

Once Sam nodded he head, Rachel continued, "Paul's reaction to me was physically extreme and just a tiny bit noticeable. Subtle he isn't. For fuck's sake, even Little Miss Unaware of Anything But Herself Bella Swan saw Paul's reaction to me."

After taking a sip of coffee, she continued quietly, "He started shaking and you clapped him on the back and congratulated him. I had no idea why but I did hear Embry tell Quil that 'another one bites the dust'. Paul practically carried me out of there as soon as I let dad and Jake know that I was home. I'm pretty sure that everyone saw my confusion. It's not like my jaw wasn't dragging on the sand as Paul dragged me away. I saw that my father and Old Quil had shit eating grins. Anyway, we walked up to the cliffs and talked for hours. Come to find out that Paul had been in love with me for years. Once I left for college he figured that he had nothing to lose by telling me if he ever saw me again. After sobbing for about 10 minutes I was able to get out that I had been in love with him since junior year." Pausing, Rachel pulled a napkin from the holder in the middle of the table and began shredding it. Nervous energy is a terrible thing to waste.

The look of confusion on Sam's face would have been hysterical if so much wasn't riding on the outcome of this conversation. Putting her hand lightly on Sam's arm, Rachel continued.

"Neither one of us had ever discussed our feelings with each other or anyone else. He was so convinced that little Miss Legs R. Closed wouldn't want a guy who had literally fucked his way across state lines and had been on his own since he was 16. I just knew that Mr. Sexy Time couldn't be interested in a mouthy virgin with a fascination for trivia and obscure historical facts. So we talked. About everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. Including that my new guy had paws, a tail and could let me know with a bark if Timmy got stuck in the well." Rachel saw Sam start shaking even more and she sat back in her chair and waited for the verbal explosion she knew was coming.

"Holy fuck! He had no right to tell you about the pack! Only imprints and parents are informed by order of the council!" Sam yelled and then practically began panting in deep jagged breathes.

Waiting to see if he said anything more and realizing that his heavy breathing was his way of trying to maintain some control, she asked something she had wanted to know for months, "Why is that? Do you and the council really think that siblings or lovers would intentionally give up the secrets? Especially with the threat of a painful retribution that would leave blood and fur at the scene?"

In a calmer manner Sam relied, "The council is concerned that outsiders wouldn't be able to contain the secret so it is kept on a need to know basis." Rubbing his hands along the base of his neck, Sam looked emotionally drained.

"Well OK then but I'm member of this tribe, the sister of a wolf and the daughter of a chief. Not really an outsider anyway you look at it." Shaking her head Rachel continued, "Anyway, Paul told me about imprinting and the fact that without an imprint no one would allow our relationship since there would be a danger that he would break my heart and leave me like you left Leah. Basically he knew that dad would not let me go through what Leah went through." Keeping a steady eye on Sam, Rachel noted the pain in his eyes at the mention of his ex-fiance. She also saw that he could see her recognition of that searing pain and that she wasn't going to sugar coat anything.

"So, to protect ourselves and our relationship, Paul and I decided to let people think that I was his imprint and that I was resisting the inevitable. Paul told me that he's the only wolf who can consistently cover his thoughts from both you and Edward Cullen." Seing Sam's glare change from angry to surprised she stated, "Of course I know about vampires. Come on. The man I love, my brother, my best friend and most of the guys I grew up with are furballs. Since I handled that news pretty well Paul told me everything," she shrugged.

"After our talk Paul and I decided to go into stealth mode so that I could find out everything we would need to know to continue without an imprint. While sitting at home and pretending to be conflicted about having a ready-made soul mate, I spent the next two weeks going over the Tribal histories and journals that dad had stored in the house. I also volunteered to 'organize' the records at the Tribal offices. I'm sure you remember that research and digging for information are two of my talents." Taking another sip of coffee, she continued, "I found out some very interesting things about imprinting during those two weeks. According to what my dad told me and my comparison of that information with what was in the older journals, it became obvious that no one had really studied the information in the older volumes. Everything that the council was spewing was based on the pack of Ephraim Black. It's the kind of mistake that people not used to conducting research make . . . ignoring the old and only embracing the recent."

"Are you saying that the council didn't give us all the necessary information?"

"I'm saying that the council was ignorant of all the information available. I don't think that it was a deliberate omission, just an omission based on ignorance. Honestly, I can understand not reading some of the old volumes unless someone is standing over you threatening your life. A couple of the writers obviously were of the VCR instruction school of writing."

Taking a deep breath and looking apprehensively at his old friend, Sam asked in a quiet voice, "Do I want to know what you found out about imprinting?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to tell you anyway because as Alpha you have a responsibility to the wolves that haven't imprinted." She steeled herself for Sam to go all Alpha and try to forbid her to continue. It wouldn't work on the Rachel since she wasn't a wolf but she knew that it might be a natural reaction of her friend being confronted with unwelcome information. She was shocked that he motioned for her to continue and then he put his head in his hands. She wanted to reach out and smooth the tension from his shoulders. But he needed to concentrate on what she would be saying and take the hard truths without distraction.

"Well, first, imprinting isn't always about what the wolf needs. Sometimes it's about what the pack needs. Or a combination of the wolf's and pack's needs. Secondly, the imprint is like a piece of woven fabric with each tread touching on different emotions, needs and desires. The warp and weft of the imprint fabric is based on all of these things and are individual to the wolf and the imprint. Therefore, no two imprints are the same and the reason for imprinting can be wildly divergent between wolves of the same pack . . . "

Hearing her hesitation, Sam looked up and waited for her to continue. Rachel was not looking forward to these next bits of Imprint 101. "Thirdly, an imprint can be a test for the wolf to determine his place in the pack based on his reaction to the imprint. And finally, an imprint can be both prevented and broken."

Sam started shaking uncontrollably. Rachel saw that he was going to phase and dived to the floor as Sam ran towards the front door and bust into fur as his rammed through the door. For about the thousandth time since she became involved with Paul she rolled her eyes and wondered what her college roommate and partner in crime, the very tough Lena Larsen, would do if she saw a grown man sprout fur and dewclaws. Lena was a cool customer who was rarely startled but even Lena would probably piss her panties and cry enough to smudge at least some of her black eyeliner.

Grabbing her phone from her pocket Rachel dialed her husband and spoke quickly, "Your Alpha is tearing up the woods. Call Jake and tell him to order anyone embracing their wolf to phase back human. Jared and Quil don't need to see what's in Sam's mind. Ask Seth to stay with Leah and bring Sam back here. I love you." She hung up and scrolled on her phone until she came to the app she used to keep track of home repairs.

Surveying the door frame she called the local hardware store, they were on speed dial for this kind of wolf caused emergency, and ordered a new door and requested delivery to the Tribal council. After the third time of trying to hunt up a tape measure after a wolf destroyed a door she decided to measure all the doors and windows of each pack house and be prepared. It's not like it was an unusual occurrence for a furball to take out a door or window. Seemed to happen about once every two to three weeks.

Rachel set about putting the table and chairs back where they belonged and cleaning up the coffee that spilled from her now dented travel mug. Once everything was arranged the way Emily (well really Leah) had it, she moved around the kitchen island and made a pot of coffee.

Waiting for the coffee to finish, Rachel's thoughts turned to Leah. Her friend was barely holding on to both her mental and physical health. The beautiful she-wolf was super model thin, as in past waif, and she'd quit eating more than the smallest amount to keep moving. Barely moving. For a girl who could, and should, chow down 5,000 calories in a sitting the starvation was making her literally fade away before their eyes. She hadn't phased in the last week and was unable to get off Rachel and Paul's guest room bed without help. Leah's mental health was just as precarious. She would lay on her side and stare out the window, unseeing and unblinking. It was all that Rachel could do to get Leah to answer yes or no to a direct question. They were willing to try anything to get Leah out of her protective shell. Years ago Rachel had read that one of the ways to heal an injured cat is to put in with other cats. The healthy cats will huddle around the injured cat, purr and speed healing. After doing some internet research she asked that at least two of the three guys currently camped at her house and helping to care for Leah to sleep in the bed with Leah so that she had contact with her pack-mates. Whenever possible all three guys piled into the bed with Leah and Rachel slept in a cot at the foot of the bed. Anything to keep Leah with them even though Leah was determined to just melt away like she had never existed. After the months of anger and lashing out at the pack, the only she-wolf was close to being completely destroyed.

Paul, Jacob and Seth had taken Leah's patrols once she become too weak to phase. Between the three of them this wasn't a hardship. But the toll of watching their biological and pack sister kill herself was hurting these strong and brave men in ways that made Rachel shudder. Each of wolves had run out of the house into the woods after sitting with an unresponsive Leah. When Rachel followed Paul the first time he ran out she found him about a half mile into the tree line with tears running down his face. As much as she wanted to breakdown with him she knew that she had to keep it together in order for Paul to calm down. Sitting next to him she pulled his head into her lap and held him until the crying stopped. Later that night in bed (she'd told Jake and Seth that she and Paul needed some alone time and wouldn't be sleeping in Leah's room that night) she asked Paul if that was what Jake and Seth were doing when they ran from the house. He nodded. Rachel then wrapped herself around Paul and made comforting crooning sounds to him until he relaxed and went to sleep. It was one of the few times that Paul let her take care of him and he allowed himself to gain strength from his human wife.

Getting a mug out of the dish drainer Rachel poured herself some coffee, took a seat at the kitchen table and waited while watching birds flit around the bird feeder outside the window to the left of the empty front door frame. After about an hour she heard Paul and Sam arguing in the front yard.

"Fuckin' A Sam. What does it hurt to listen? There's a reason they say that ignorance is bliss. You don't have all the facts and your walk around like a love-sick 13-year-old who hasn't even had a boner yet!"

Sam roared back, "Imprinting is a gift! Our ancestors gave this to us and it's up to us to accept imprinting!"

"Do you really believe the shit you're spewing out of your pie hole right now? I hope so because no one else but Jared does. You know about Quil's doubts. You may not see it but you've become so whipped by the council that you are willing to believe anything. Just listen. You don't have to believe but sit the fuck down and listen like a thinking person who values having all of the information."

Both men walked into the kitchen buttoning up their shorts. Paul was immediately at Rachel's side checking her for injury. Once he had run his hands over most of his wife's body he bent down and nuzzled into her neck. Inhaling her scent, Paul looked at Sam and gave a low growl of warning. If Sam phased that close to Rachel again Paul would have his balls nailed to his wall as a trophy. Sam had the good graces, and knowledge of how his friend thought, to nod in agreement that phasing around Rachel was a ball cutting offense.

Rachel motioned to the table and sat down. Paul sat next to her and attempted to put her on his lap but Rachel gave him a pointed look and he settled for having his arm around her waist. Rachel was getting ready to tell Sam that his perfect imprint might not be as fabulous as he'd thought and it would be rubbing salt in the wound for Rachel and Paul to hang all over each other. Plus, Rachel knew that if Sam phased again that Paul would need to be able to deal with the situation without her ass getting in the way.

"Sam, I really want to get this out before Emily comes home. I just want to give you the information. What you do with it in your situation is your business. But I have to tell you that I've sent this information to Harry and my dad to share with the council and younger wolves. The have already pledged to make sure that everyone has the information so that they can make informed decisions."

Wrapping her fingers around her coffee cup, she went through the imprint facts again but in detail. "Just so you know, I didn't pull this stuff out of my ass. I have all the citations available and I made copies of all the journals and can make them available to you. I don't want you to take my word for it. I want you to look at the evidence and make up your own mind." Pausing to take a sip of coffee and clear her throat Rachel continued, "OK, so the first thing is that the imprint can be about the pack as much or more than the individual wolf. From what Paul says he has seen in the pack mind you were totally lost when you first came back after phasing. Your house was a mess and we all know you can't cook for shit so you were living on frozen pizza and canned soup. And let's face it, Leah isn't any better in the kitchen. Jared was about to phase and Paul wasn't going to be far behind and they would need wolf lessons. Add that to the fact that you were trying to stay away from Leah because that assclown Old Quil told you that since she wasn't your imprint, that you couldn't tell the girl you loved the most important aspect of your life. So you were forced by some fucked up magic to shut out the one person who would totally accept and understand anything that was going on with you. You were totally ass kicked into isolation. Well then the Tribal imprint mojo kicks in and the first new girl you see who happens to be a domestic goddess, you imprint on. Bonus points for sharing DNA with your true love. You needed comfort and the pack needed a momma wolf."

Paul looked at his old friend and realized that Sam was shaken by the idea that his 'soul mate' might really be the pack mother and that maybe Sam looked at everything related to the imprint with rose-colored glasses on peyote. Deep down Paul had always kind of figured that Sam's acceptance of the imprint was about ease and not a desire for a 'soul mate' that wasn't Leah. Paul knew how much Sam really did love Leah. Internally Paul shuttered to think of not having freedom on who to love. Freedom of choice and freedom to be himself were Paul's greatest needs as both a man and a wolf. Rachel shared the need for freedom and told Paul on more than one occasion that it was OK that he's an asshole because he's her asshole. She didn't want him to be anything but himself. From the fabulous wolf bod to the bad temper to the primitive side of his personality that embraced his wolf to his manly funk after a long patrol. She loved the whole man and the whole wolf. Shit, she loved for him to phase in the living room and have a nice long cuddle with the wolf while she brushed his silver fur. Paul loved that Rachel loved his wolf.

"As I said before, the imprint and the imprint experience are totally different for each wolf due to the various emotions, needs and desires of both the wolf and the imprint. And example would be the contrast between the incredibly, um . . . lusty drive of Jared and Kim's imprint versus the home centric imprint that you and Emily share." The entire pack, most of the rez, a good portion of the population of Forks and more than a few school children on class trips to First Beach had seen the hormone and PDA driven needs of Jared and Kim's imprint. Rachel had commented to Paul when first witnessing the live porno during a bon fire that she thought she had just been blinded by the money shot. Paul spit beer out of his nose.

"The imprint as a test for pack placement is fairly straightforward. Jared is a dominate male and conceivably in the running for Alpha. By not fighting the imprint, despite the fact that he and Kim barely knew each other before the imprint, Jared established himself as a non-Alpha dominate. It would be unlikely that Paul would imprint as a test since he doesn't care about the pack hierarchy so long as he has access to fighting, fucking, and food. My husband is a simple wolf." She kissed Paul's cheek and continued, "A wolf who wouldn't fight the imprint isn't likely to be the true leader." Although Rachel didn't use Sam as an example, the weight of the omission was felt around the kitchen table. Jake was the true Alpha by birth and when Sam didn't fight an imprint on a woman he hadn't seen before, he may have provided unwitting confirmation of Jake's true Alpha status.

"This will be the hardest part for you to hear. And imprint can be avoided through marking. When a wolf and his, or her, mate mark each other they are bound in a way that is stronger than an imprint and will prevent the wolf from binding himself to another. Ever. Paul and I marked each other after my two-week 'research exile'. I didn't worry about Paul imprinting on someone but his wolf demanded that he mark me. We marked each other the night I moved in. His wolf is a possessive ass." Rachel took her husband's huge warm hand between her two small cool hands. He smirked. He and his wolf practically preened when she recognized his possession of his wife.

Rachel looked Sam in the eye and continued, "Finally, aside from the imprint deciding not to have a romantic relationship with the wolf, an imprint that is sexual and romantic can be broken with a simple ceremony performed by the wolf with the assistance of two fellow wolves. The specifics of the ceremony can be found here." Rachel pulled a paper out of her pocket and slid it over the table surface towards Sam's hands

The three old friends sat in silence. Paul and Rachel looked at Sam and Sam looked at the table while wiping his hands through his hair. Observing the Alpha it seemed to Rachel that the wolf in the man had diminished just a little and that Sam looked more purely human than he had looked since his transformation. She'd have to ask Paul when they got home.

"One more thing that I have to say to you as your friend. This is an observation and not based on my research. You have to ask yourself what kind of a woman would shit on her family, her best friend and the love of her life by accepting an imprint that would bring the kind of pain that Emily imposed on Harry, Sue, Seth, Leah and you. Emily had the power in the imprint and she chose to disregard what was best for everyone else. She only cared about what she wanted."

Sam laid his head on his arms. Paul and Rachel saw his shoulders shake with dry sobs. Paul put his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed. Rachel began to cry watching her friend fall apart. All she could hope was for her friend to find the strength to end this heartache by confronting the nature of his imprint and having the courage to choose Leah.

Rachel rose from her chair and took her coffee mug into the kitchen. After washing the mug and putting it in the dish drainer she turned around and looked at her phone to read any texts. The door had been delivered to the council offices and was ready to be picked up.

"We're going to leave now and let you absorb what I've told you. There's a new front door waiting for you at the council office. Please call us if you need anything." In a quieter voice she couldn't help adding, "We love you Uley."

Paul took Rachel's hand and led her from the house. Helping her into the truck, Rachel slumped against the passenger door and closed her eyes. It had been a tough day and it was only beginning.

_Please review and let me know if you want the story to continue._


	2. Chapter 2

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing except this totally made-up fanfic.**

It was too much to take in all at once and Sam felt like he was losing touch with everything his life was built upon; his pack, his place within the pack, his supposed lack of choice, his shame at not fighting harder for Leah and the new needle of doubt about the motives of his imprint. A needle that became sharper with each passing minute. Eventually Sam's dry sobs ceased and he sat up slowly to stare at the scarred kitchen table, finding one particularly deep scratch to focus his eyes on in an attempt to anchor himself to his surroundings. Unconsciously he began to rub the scratch with his index finger like it was a Braille symbol that would unlock the mysteries of his life. Rubbing, rubbing, rubbing . . .

It came to Sam as he continued to rub that damn scratch in the tabletop that since phasing, he had gotten out of the habit of thinking about his life; his instincts had kicked in and the man hadn't really tried to wrestle control away from the wolf. He didn't plan anything in his life. He planned for the pack as far as strategy. But planning for his own life became a forgotten pleasure once he phased and couldn't leave the rez and once he imprinted and had no choice in his mate. He reacted in the moment and lived day by day without thinking about the future. Really, maybe not having a future was the real legacy of the spirit warriors. They are given inhuman speed, hearing, eyesight and survival instincts. Sitting in his quiet kitchen Sam felt the weight of his life in every bone and sinew. He suddenly felt a hundred years old while full of the anxiety of the average 15-year-old after drinking a half-dozen Red Bulls. Ugh.

Shaking his head, the Alpha began to focus on his brothers and not himself. His anxiety slowly dissipated to a manageable level. At least he no long felt like his head was going to explode. Sighing, Sam realized that 'manageable level' in this circumstance meant he was sitting upright, not experiencing panic induced vertigo and not having an aneurism. He concentrated on taking regular breaths and rubbing that fascinating scratch on the table as he began to consider what Rachel discovered.

Telling the pack about Rachel's imprint info could push the pack into a 1,000 foot hole with a tornado of shit and wet fur at the bottom. At the best of times it was difficult to maintain control within the pack mind. Sometimes it was friggin' impossible to keep the individual wolves focused on wolf business not random thoughts of Kim's cute ass, Brady trying to figure out a way to convince his English teacher to accept that _World War Z_ is literature and worthy of a term paper or that Collin couldn't figure out why his feet had started to smell like candy coated dead fish. A mystery that the whole pack wanted solved. Stat.

Gratefully moving on from thinking about Cody's rank paws, Sam began to put together coherent thoughts from the information swimming in his head. He knew that anything fucking with the pack's collective consciousness about their understanding of imprinting would likely result in a shit storm that they might not survive intact, individually or as a unit. Each of the wolves was as individual as the men and boys that were his responsibility and he considered the possible responses of his wolves. Quil lacked focus. Unless he was with Clair. The idea that his imprint could be less than the perfection he imagined, or that the imprint could eventually be broken, would send the poor guy into a fractured state of mind that would echo through each wolf in the pack. If Quil couldn't rein in his thoughts or if he panicked the entire pack would feel every anxiety spike and live it with him. While Jared didn't lack control, he became unreasonable and on a hair-trigger if anyone questioned his feelings for Kim or even the idea of imprinting. The smart and kind Embry would learn all he could about what was going on and try to keep his friends together. The younger wolves would be confused and trying to stay out of the way but they did have a habit of letting their thoughts run wild when surprised and the resulting noise was like being in the middle of a combination NASCAR race and a Drop Kick Murphy's gig. Loud, discordant and likely to drive a even a tough assed wolf over the edge into insanity. Sam didn't worry about Paul's ability to handle anything unexpected through the pack mind. He was the most instinctual of the pack and everything about him in wolf form was about survival, including protecting his mind. Paul's mind was on lock down every time he phased. For fuck's sake, Sam hadn't even had a hint of a thought in all this time that Paul and Rachel weren't imprinted. That news was un-fuck-ing . It made Sam ball his hands into fists from tension at the fact that a subordinate wolf was able to hide something so important from its Alpha. That shit was not supposed to happen.

After a few minutes Sam began to let go and his mind drifted. He began to wonder what he would think if he was told about Rachel's information for the first time while phased and mentally connected to the pack. It made him realize that almost every conversation he had that involved imprinting he fell back into a defense position. Not just verbally but physically. He remembered leaning into Jake and the feeling of his shoulders expanding when Jake questioned imprinting providing a soul mate. Sam remembered other such conversations and his defensiveness when anyone questioned or discussed imprinting. He now was able to recognize that he always felt that anyone not totally on board with fate giving you the perfect mate was questioning Emily's place by his side and within the pack. The highly irregular way that Emily was inserted into his life had kept the tongues on the rez wagging for that first year and added to his need to protect Emily. In this instance, her reputation. An uncomfortable itch of a thought began to emerge into a conscious thought . . . was his defensiveness actually _him_ questioning Emily's role in his life and with the pack? He grabbed his chest, the physical pain at the very thought felt like someone was aiming a blow torch at his heart. To ease the blazing hurt he turned his thoughts from imprinting and began to think about his place in the pack.

After a minute he was able to take a deep breath without it catching as he wondered about his role as a wolf and leader. Since Sam phased and it became clear that others would follow, Sam had known that he was essentially the Alpha Regent until Jacob took over. His view on this began to change when Jake split off into a small pack with Seth and Leah. Jake was adamant that he didn't want to be Alpha of Sam's pack and honestly, Sam felt relief that his pack would remain mostly intact. His pack. Mentally saying 'his pack' felt different now from when he first welcomed Jared and Paul to running on four legs. _Huh, when did that happen?_ Startled, Sam asked himself when exactly he started to refer to the pack as 'his'. Not 'his' pack in the sense of belonging to a team. _His pack as in his fiefdom, his domain, his possession_.

Rachel's words about the wolf's reaction to the imprint helping to identify possible Alphas and separating out the weaker or less dominant wolves scared Sam. It was one thing to know that you're not the leader and only a placeholder. A vice president. Not the top dog. After being the leader and losing your place, essentially losing your familiar power, to being relegated to just another guy was not a happy thought. Sam was not looking forward to Jacob Black claiming his birthright. It would mean submitting to a younger and less experienced wolf in a fight if Sam's wolf wouldn't give up his position willingly. How would Emily react to the change in his status within the pack if lost such a fight? For fuck's sake. Everything kept coming back to imprinting and his imprint in particular. Every thought, every plan, every action. It certainly brought into focus that imprinting really did constrict your life. Who would have thought that being presented with your soul mate would narrow the possibilities open to a person and not expand life's possibilities? As life changing as growing a tail and having a pelt was when he first phased, it was nothing compared to the wonderful and craptastic additions that imprinting brought.

Every aspect of his life was tied to imprinting and he sighed with resignation that he couldn't avoid thinking about how it changed him and his life. His and Leah's engagement and Leah's heart were broken because of imprinting. He permanently scarred a beautiful girl because they had a typical couple fight one day before he had control of his wolf. Moving away from the rez after he stops phasing? No longer an option. Being off the rez with her scars was understandably uncomfortable for Emily. His eventual marriage wouldn't expand his family through loving in-laws as Sam, the only child, has always hoped. Emily Young's parents didn't support her relationship with Leah Clearwater's ex. To the Young's, Sam would always be Leah's ex-fiance; they would never see him as Emily's boyfriend, fiance or husband. And he really couldn't blame them when thinking about it dispasionately. It was awkward as ass all around. He knew that her parents thought he would break Emily's heart like he had Leah's and they lost respect for their daughter when she got involved with Sam. The holidays were filled with all kinds of gut clinching fun. From her father glaring at Sam with pure disgust over breakfast to her mother asking Emily if she was still planning on wearing white when she 'finally' married Sam. It was even worse when Emily told her mother with a blush that he hadn't officially proposed yet. Sam was still a little pissed that Emily said that even though she and Sam had spent the last six months figuring out their finances so they could get engaged in the next year. Things had been tight since Sam insisted on cutting Leah a hefty check to pay for her contributions to the house before they broke-up. Before he crushed her. Leah refused the check with a nicely executed, "Eat shit and die motherfucker." So Sam sent a check to Sue who opened a separate account for Leah in case she ever needed money. Emily had not been thrilled with their depleted resources and maybe that comment to her mother was part of her payback. It was one of the few times that Sam actually got angry at Emily since imprinting. Neither he nor his wolf were pleased and he remembered the effort it took not to call bullshit right then and there. Instead he snuck out after Christmas dinner for a long run that took most of the night.

So many of his relationships suffered. Soon after meeting Emily he made the discovery the she was a little jealous when he was out and stopped to talk to any girl that he had been friendly with during the 'Leah years' as he called them in his mind. Apparently imprinting didn't smooth over all the shitty little insecurities of the imprint. Wanting to please Emily made him less and less open to quick conversations until the old friends stopped trying to be more than superficially polite and these were not stupid girls. They saw Emily's influence on the once easy going guy. It really didn't help Emily's reputation on the rez. Especially when his mother heard about Emily's obvious influence and that her son had been less than friendly with people he had known his whole life. Even his relationship with his mother was given a painful kick in the ass when he imprinted.

Sam was an only child and loved, respected and feared his mother. Even his wolf was a little skittish when his mother was in a mood. Allison Uley had raised her son alone after his father left when Sam was five and the mother and son had always been close. Not in a strange gothic 'momma's boy' sense. But in a 'we're the only two in this boat and we need to work together' sense. When Emily entered his life Sam and his mother lost a little of the easy closeness. They had always been able to discuss most things, such as his dating (which was always really a discussion about Leah), her frustrations with her job as an office manager in Forks and the fact that neither one of them really liked his grandmother's meatloaf recipe ('cause unless meatloaf has lots of green peppers and onions and wrapped in bacon it's just a giant friggin' brick of meat). They shared a dark sense of humor. They had been a mother and son team that was self sufficient without being closed to new members. Allison Uley loved Leah like her own daughter and was good friends with Sue Clearwater. Allison was told about imprinting when her son broke up with his fiance and acquired a live-in girl friend within a couple of weeks. Allison stormed over to Sam's house and threatened to kick his ass from La Push to the state line and snatch the hair out that whore Emily's head. Sam decided that his mother needed to know what was going on if his life was going to be worth living. It was not a pretty confrontation. Sam was shaking and trying to keep from phasing while Emily was weeping and Allison was glaring. Even understanding the mechanics of imprinting didn't cause his mother to bat an eye before she ran Emily down to her face about how Emily had no shame and obviously no pride if she was willing to be Sam's obligation rather than his choice. Allison had no problem explaining to Emily exactly what she thought of her. Eventually it dawned on Sam that time does not heal all wounds and he had to concede that his mom hadn't warmed up to Emily. At. All. As in his mother sat her son down about a month after Emily moved into his house and presented him with a list of her concerns about Emily, the changes in her son, and Allison's continuing (actually they both knew it was an ever increasing) empathy with Leah. Allison essentially let her son know that he was pussy whipped, that he should get his testosterone checked and that Emily wasn't her first, second or third choice for her son. His mother hadn't been to his house for a visit since. He now visited his mother at her house. Alone.

Well, he wasn't alone now. He could hear Emily driving up in her little pickup truck. It sounded like her engine needed a tune up. He'd have to take care of that next week.

Sam still had so much to think about and he didn't want to worry Emily by being distracted. And he didn't want to answer any questions. Even though he felt so heavy in body and spirit that it was like there was cement in his veins not blood, he knew that he needed to leave the house before Emily heard or saw him. Even answering a question about whether he wanted baked chicken or baked salmon was beyond his abilities at the moment. He quickly wrote 'PATROLLING - BACK AT MIDNIGHT - SENDING SOMEONE TO FIX THE DOOR' in neat block letters on the message board hanging on the kitchen wall, put his cell phone in the buttoned cargo pocket of his shorts and ran out the back door towards the woods.

He hit the tree line just as he heard her call his name. He quickly undressed inside the cool forest canopy, tied his clothes to his leg and phased. A large black wolf tore through the woods towards his favorite place in the forest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing except this made up story with characters I don't own.**

Emily walked through the empty door frame and sighed. The first time a wolf burst through the front door had been a shock. At this point she was more concerned about a chipmunk getting in the house that a wolf losing it for a moment. Because a wolf was always on the edge of losing it or actually losing it. Especially with the younger wolves. She hoped that Sam was home.

Calling out for her wolf, she didn't hear a response and glanced at the message board. Lately it seeming that the message board was a substitute for face to face communication between her and Sam. Seeing his message she felt her shoulders slump with disappointment. Emily really did want to see Sam and spend some alone time with him. It seemed that they were only alone late at night and she often fell asleep waiting for him to finish patrol. For the past week or two their schedules didn't sync up between Sam's patrols, her work with the Tribal welcome center, Sam's construction business and her daily cooking for shape-shifting guys who were seemingly incapable of having a full stomach. Smiling at the fantasy of actually managing to fill up the guys and having them lying around the living room like puppies with full pouched out stomachs, Emily giggled to herself.

Puttering around her kitchen, Leah popped into Emily's thoughts as she put water on for some hot tea. Staring at the tea bag in her hand she sighed in regret. While her cousin had been mostly absent from her life since the imprinting, and Leah had been even more removed from her since joining Jacob's pack, it startled Emily to realize that she hadn't seen or heard from either Leah or Seth in at least a couple of weeks. She hated to bring Leah up to Sam. It was like dripping hot candle wax on a still throbbing wound. Hot enough to cause excruciating pain and stop all healing but not hot enough to cauterise and eventually scab over. She missed her cousin and friend but she was so tired of Leah coming between her and her soon-to-be fiancé.

Oh well. Time to get on with her afternoon. Putting her empty tea-cup in the sink, Emily turned her attention to what to make for dinner. Everyone assumed she just loved to cook but it was a struggle everyday to come up with ideas to tempt the wolves without boring herself to tears. In general, the wolves would be content with a simply cooked meat with a starch like either potatoes or rice. Period. The wolves could stay healthy on a diet of Snickers, Cheetos, double cheeseburgers and Skittles. Emily quickly realized that cooking crap for the wolves was impacting the imprints. Both she and Kim put on at least three pounds that first week Emily cooked wolf favorites after moving in with Sam. Now she tried to make sure everyone was taken care of in the food department. What to make for dinner . . . hmm, roasted chickens with new potatoes, squash souffle (the wolves liked squash, or 'squish' as Brady called it, so long as it had cheese and cream in the recipe) and broccoli with cheddar cheese sauce would work . . . maybe some mixed berry pies . . .

The black wolf slowed down as he came to the little clearing that no one else knew about. Sniffing the air he didn't smell anything but random small animals, the largest having the pungent scent of a raccoon. In the clearing was a flat rock that was large enough for the wolf to lay on and soak up any residual heat. He loved warmth and would drowse on the rock after patrols when he wanted to just have a quiet hour. As Alpha he could block the other wolves and he enjoyed the rare chance to experience silence.

The lack of silence in his wolf and human lives had been difficult to adjust to once others began phasing. There were always wolves or humans around and he was expected to always be a leader. Crap, he had to take care of that door. The wolf phased, found the phone in his clothing and called Jared. Before Jared could say hello Sam had made the request and hung up on his Beta.

"Jared, there's a door at the Tribal council offices for my house. Have someone hang it at my house in the next couple of hours. Thanks."

Closing the phone, Sam phase back into his wolf, climbed up on the warm rock and laid his belly on the familiar surface. The ability to block the pack mind was a priceless fucking gift. At least he got some benefits from this shit eating situation. Stretching his long wolf body from the tip of his nose to the end of his tail, Sam tried to ease the tension from his wolf form so he couldn't think about at home or around Emily. It was too close to cheating or showing disloyalty to his imprint to make him comfortable thinking about Leah outside his alone time, away from the pack, the council and his imprint. Closing his eyes the wolf began to let his mind wander.

He had to admit to himself that it became easier on the pack mind when Leah left to join Jake's pack. While he missed having her physically close it meant that he and the rest of the guys weren't subjected to a daily buffet of the different flavors of Leah's anger. Her lightly toasted anger directed at Jared for his wallowing in the glory of his imprint. The she-wolf's chagrin with a peppery aftertaste towards Quil for imprinting on a toddler. The salty and uncomfortable digs at Embry about the unknown identity of the boy's father. Her exchanges with Paul and the cubs were snarky but never crossed the line into cruel or mean-spirited.

It hurt Sam in his very bones that Leah's most sour and bitter offerings of fierce and cutting rage were directed towards him. He literally ached with regret and self-loathing at causing his Lee-Lee any hurt. There had been times during that first year of his time with Emily and after Leah phased that he would drive into the forest near Port Angeles to walk in unfamiliar surroundings and mourn his life with Leah. At first he lied to himself that he needed to have some time separate from the pack to recharge from his Alpha duties. It was only after the the third or fourth trip and he found himself wandering through the forest with tears streaming down his face, yet again, that he could finally admit to himself that he was regretting all the hurt he visited upon Leah and feeling the loss of what could have been with his first love.

The scalding anger that Leah launched at him like napalm through the pack mind was staggering and unrelenting. While staring at that old kitchen table that morning he was able to see a faint pattern to her mental and emotional assaults. Leah had never been one to fall back when uncomfortable or challenged. Thinking back to their junior year intro to psychology class he remembered the experiment they conducted to determine if someone had a 'fight or flight' personality. Leah not only stood her ground but the teacher had to take her out into the hall to calm her down before she ripped the throat out of the guy who was her partner. It wasn't that Leah was violent. By nature she wasn't prone to physically lashing out. But don't ever expect her to back down or turn her back if challenged, a trait born of her confidence that she could handle pretty much anything. Maybe not a bullet. Well, at least before she became a wolf. A cutting remark? No problem. Leah Clearwater would dissect said remark, add her own brand of verbal castration, a dash of infallible logic and serve the poison combination to you with a smile on her face. It was her self-confidence that made Sam think that she would eventually get over him when he imprinted. That and the fear that he had never really deserved such a loving, loyal, smart, beautiful and magnificent partner.

Sam was struck by the thought that Leah's most vicious and unrelenting anger towards him flared when he let an unguarded thought escape into the pack mind that centered on Emily and he attempted to apologize or he felt his regret for the mental slip. Or when he tried to talk to her and explain what happened or apologize for the thousandth time for hurting her. Basically anytime he tried to directly interact with the she wolf. He whined at the thought of Leah and her wolf turning away from him.

The human and his wolf became agitated when thinking about Leah not being around him, not being connected through the pack. While the pack mind was definitely calmer without Leah, Sam _always_ wanted Leah around. When she left his pack for Jake's, he almost took out Jared's spleen with a dull spoon after his Beta came back from unsuccessfully begging Leah to return to the pack. It hurt, not his pride as everyone assumed after he punched a five holes in the kitchen wall, but his heart. It felt like something shifted within his soul not having Leah in his pack. Strangely, his wolf was not happy. The same wolf that wanted Emily so desperately. Having a conflicted wolf was more than a little disorienting.

For the longest time he couldn't figure out why Leah couldn't just accept his imprint and the fact that he didn't chose Emily over Leah. Emily was given to him by the spirits to be his partner. How could he fight the will of the spirits or refuse the wisdom and gifts of the spirits? Both his wolf and the council kept telling him that Emily was exactly what he needed. It was only now, that he had the benefit was Rachel's research that he could begin to question if an imprint was what he wanted. Only now did he see that Leah had been raging against his blind acceptance and unwillingness to think for himself. Weighing the new information, Sam became ashamed that he had never questioned the council or asked to read the histories. Shit, he'd never even asked to see the histories. He had been spoon fed information that was fantastic and magical. And the mighty Alpha never fucking questioned a damn thing that he was told. He needed to figure out what he was going to do from here on out with his pack and his life. Again, the pain that the imprint caused for any disloyal thought reared it's ugly head. The wolf let out a high whine in distress. Placing his head on his paws, Sam the wolf closed his eyes and tried to figure out what to do with the new information while taking deep breaths in an attempt to ease the hurt from the imprint.

"Code red Embry. Get hold of the rest of the pack and tell them to clear their calendars and get over here ready to phase. Now. It's time to activate the puppy pile."

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	4. Chapter 4

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing except this made up story with characters I don't own.**

Once they got home after leaving Sam's house, Paul pulled his wife to the sofa for a quick nap. He begged for 20 minutes of relaxation after the stressful morning. Rachel argued that the she had shit to do, like email some friends from college, fold the last two loads of laundry, finish up work on that freelance research for that client in Oregon and all the other crap that kept their house humming along. Then Paul pulled that pitiful puppy look. She didn't know whether to coo at her husband or hit him with a rolled up newspaper. Rachel leaned into Paul's side and closed her eyes thinking that 20 minutes to recharge wouldn't be a bad thing

Waking up after a couple of hours and stretching, Rachel yawned and tried to shake her hair out of her eyes without too much movement. She was laying stomach to stomach with a very warm wolf on their sofa. Paul was a surprisingly cuddly man who loved having his mate draped over him when he napped. Looking around Rachel was shocked to see that it was already mid-afternoon judging from the slant of the sunlight coming into the front window. Paul rubbed his hands over her back and murmured little snuggly nonsense sounds.

Leaving Sam's had been both a relief and nerve-wracking. A relief to get the information out to the Alpha after it had felt like it was strangling her a little more every day as she watched Leah fold into herself. Nerve wracking because the entire group dynamic could change with the release of the information, leaving both wolves and imprints irrevocably changed. Smiling to herself, Rachel considered how the information would open up a world of possibilities to the unattached pack members. Rachel was all for freedom of choice and that is what she tried to concentrate on. The younger wolves deserved to decide who to love. After giving their lives up to the responsibilities of phasing and protecting their people, these young wolves shouldn't be told to blindly accept the magical illusion that's imprinting.

Billy Black's daughter was not blinded by the traditions that the council clung to so desperately. She hated to include her father in the council category but Billy had been less than enthusiastic when she first discussed her research with him. He did everything but stick his fingers in his ears and hum loudly so that he couldn't hear his daughter. She followed the old man around his house as he tried to roll away from her. A couple of times she was sure that rolling over her feet when he took a sharp turn wasn't as accidental as he tried to make out. She eventually wore his ass down by following him around the house practically shouting her findings.

Rachel hadn't yet decided if the council really believed the shit they threw out at the pack when they "examined" the legends and histories or if the council was trying to make chicken salad out of chicken shit for their daughter and sons. How can it be in anyone's best interest to tie themselves to someone who will always love them no matter what? Never having to mature emotionally or strive to be a better person because both parties are bound to love without question or having to work at the little things that make up daily life sounded like prison and not love. When she and Paul first moved in together the little compromises that they made to accommodate each other showed their concern for their chosen partner. Such as Paul vowing to never order anchovies if he hoped to get anywhere near Rachel for the next 48 hours. Or Rachel promising to wear the naughty Wonder Woman outfit, that she thought was too tight but Paul loved, at least once a month so that she could tie the big bad wolf up with her golden lasso and tame him. Rachel quietly snorted at the laziness of imprinting.

Easing herself up from the solid mass of her husband, Rachel walked into the kitchen while trying to decide what to cook for dinner. She kept a stocked upright freezer in their laundry room and another one in the shed outback for wolf caught game. With Paul's unbelievable appetite and the constant dropping in of random wolves she always doubled recipes and kept easy dishes like beef stew, pot roast, various casseroles and such in the indoor freezer. Staring with glazed eyes into the open fridge . . . dinner . . . what to have for dinner . . . There was some fresh salmon in the fridge that Paul caught after patrol the other day that needed to be used before it went bad. Hunting as a wolf for his family was one of Paul's favorite things. Paul the man liked to take care of his mate and his wolf was constantly wanting to take down large animals. There was an added benefit to catching fish as a wolf; he liked to take the pups fishing in wolf form to help them develop better eye-to-muzzle coordination. Not having opposable thumbs could be a bitch.

After preparing the fish and sliding it into the oven along with a couple of thrown together side dishes, Rachel walked into the laundry room to get rolls out of the freezer. Figuring she'd put in some laundry while she was there, Rachel dumped in a load of towels with plenty of detergent and bleach into the washing machine. Wolves shower a lot and need about four times the towels per day as your average human. A wolf missing a shower smelled manly. A wolf missing more than two showers began to get a little ripe.

Putting the rolls into the fridge to defrost for tomorrow, she meandered back to Paul in the living room. She looked at him sleeping and smiled. Leaning over the back of the sofa she admired his russet skin, dark brown hair verging on black and chiseled features. Every time she looked at him her heart fluttered in anticipation of his gaze, smile or touch. She loved him so much that sometimes it felt like she would burst into flame from one of his smiles.

"I love you more than you can even begin to imagine." He kept his eyes closed as he blew her a kiss and then smirked up at her.

Since the marking they could sense each other and their moods. They discovered the mood thing the unfortunate day that she had a fight with her twin Rebecca over the phone about visiting Billy, her car battery died and she almost broke her leg falling off a stool while changing a light bulb. She was curled up on the kitchen floor having a mini-breakdown out of frustration and Paul burst through the door yelling about killing the fucker who made her cry. As Rachel was tearfully trying to tell him that it wasn't a person but just bad luck, he was racing around convinced that the perpetrator of her unhappiness was in the house and that the SOB had to die by wolf smack down. After searching the house about three times he finally sat down with her on the floor and they figured out that his stress went up steadily throughout the day as her luck went further down the crapper. There was an upside, they could prepare themselves for both the good and bad moods of their mate and it was a really interesting phenomenon during sex. It seemed to enhance all those tingly feelings.

After giving him a quick kiss on the cheek Rachel walked across the room to the stairs leading up to the guest room. She needed to check Leah. The door to the guest room was open and the scene she saw inside the darkening room made her eyes tear. The small room was filled with a king sized bed pushed into the far corner, a beside table littered with water bottles and tissues and a dresser to the left of the doorway. On the side of the bed against the wall was Jake with Leah's face cradled into his chest. Her little brother must have come in when Rachel was napping as Set was curled around his sister's back.

The look of desperation on the true Alpha's face made Rachel's heart break. It took all of her considerable self-control to prevent a broken sob from escaping her lips when she saw the tears running down Jake's face. Her poor little brother was being ripped apart by the hurt of his Beta. Jake kept trying to sooth Leah by rubbing circles on her back and crooning softly in her ear. Seth was on Leah's other side and he was gently kneading Leah's neck and shoulders. Rachel heard Paul reach the top of the stairs and pad softly to where she stood outside the room. Paul's arms reached around his wife and she looked at him nodding towards Leah. Reluctantly releasing Rachel he stepped into the room.

Leah didn't move except for her shallow breathing that barely moved her shoulders. The she-wolf was gaunt and her closed eyelids looked bruised and thin.

In his normal voice he looked at Leah and asked, "Any more room here for another wolf? The hottest beast in the pack is waiting right here to provide his services."

Jake closed his eyes trying to pull himself together and Seth pointed to the foot of the bed. Paul reached under the blanket covering Leah's legs and feet. Her toes were ice-cold. Stepping back, Paul took off his shorts and phased. He nosed his large silver muzzle under the blanket and placed the soft warm fur of his chin and neck on her lower legs and feet. Within minutes her toes had warmed up. Over the past day she had been getting colder and colder. Instead of running at a 108.9 degrees Leah's temp had lowered to about 105 degrees.

Looking at the most important men in her life falling apart Rachel made a decision. She was not going to stand by while her best friend lost herself. Time to marshal the troops.

"I''m calling the pack and asking them to come over here now. Seth, please push the furniture in the living room against the walls. Paul, move the mattresses from all three beds in the house to the middle of the floor downstairs and put clean fitted sheets on them. Jacob you stay with Leah and carry her down and lay her in the middle of the mattresses when Paul's done."

Paul phased back, threw his shorts back on and went to push the chest of drawers and side table out of the way so that the mattress could be moved without destroying the meager furnishings in the room.

Running downstairs to rummage around the large tote she used as a purse, and only semi-jokingly referred to as the Black Hole of Calcutta, finally locating her elusive cell and made her call.

"Code red Embry. Get hold of the rest of the pack and tell them to clear their calendars and get over here ready to phase. It's time to activate the puppy pile. Leah needs to have her pack around her in all their furry glory."

Snapping the phone shut she began putting dinner, plates and silverware on the table for the guys to get food when they came down stairs. Looking at the table, she also pulled out cold cuts, bread, chips and condiments for the wolves coming over. Salmon and salami. She wrinkled her nose in disgust at that unholy combination but she knew the wolves would each crap on a cracker if hungry enough. Everyone had been informed of the time Jared snacked on a crow when desperately hungry in wolf form. He said it was a git gamey.

Rachel called out, "Paul, I'm going to the shed to get some venison." She heard his grunt in response. After the first couple of times of having him panic when he didn't immediately notice that she'd left the house she'd learned to just give him a heads up. A panicked Paul is a primal Paul and a primal Paul was a growling Paul.

Walking across the back yard, Rachel noticed that the clouds were rolling in and that the wind was up. A storm was coming. Usually Rachel loved wild weather. She remembered when she and Leah would dance outside in the rain while everyone else called them idiots. They both felt the energy from storms and liked to feel that power unleashed. Sighing, Rachel found herself in front of the freezer. Pulling out two large packages of ground venison and a couple of smaller packages of venison Italian sausage, she staggered back to the house with the awkward load. Just before reaching the porch she saw Jared and the Beta rush over to grab the packages of meat from her arms. Jared looked at his old friend, taking in the tightness around her eyes and mouth. Rachel looked drained.

"Hey Rach. Embry called. What's up? Is Leah worse?"

As Sam's Beta, Jared had a tendency to speak in shorthand. Always trying to get the most information with the least amount of words. Rachel considered Jared's verbal shorthand kind of a good trait considering that Kim used more words than any three people combined. She loved Kim. But damn, the girl could talk the stink off a skunk.

Jared had been more than a little unhappy with Sam holding on to Leah emotionally despite imprinting on Emily. OK. Unhappy didn't really cover it. More like ready to disembowel his Alpha. He knew Sam did it unconsciously but that didn't really make it any better. If anything it made it worse for Leah, the pack and Emily. Jared was an observer and he could see that Sam's continued attachment to Leah had been eating at the she-wolf from the inside out. The pack got the joy of dealing with Sam's thoughts and Leah's raging responses. While Emily was human and not in the pack mind, Jared had seen her watch Sam with a sad expression while Sam concentrated more on Leah that the other wolves. He had seen Emily quickly look down and walk into another room when she caught Sam's eyes following Leah with a soft gaze. It was just a totally fucked up situation.

"I honestly don't know what's happening to Leah. She only stares or has her eyes closed without ever responding to anyone. She only eats and drinks enough to hang on and I feel like we're losing her . . . " Rachel heard her voice tremble.

Trying to get a grip on herself before falling apart, Rachel squared her shoulders and followed Jared through the front door. She found Paul loading up a plate. Jake took a loaded plate to Seth who was sitting on the mattresses next to Leah. The unresponsive girl laid on her side with her eyes closed. Rachel watched her baby brother as he sat down and tried to tempt his Beta with tiny bites of salmon and nibbles of potatoes from his fingers. Leah would eat the tidbits put to her lips but it was like watching a zombie.

"Jared please put the meat on the kitchen counter and grab the two giant pots from the laundry room."

"Sure thing Rach. What are you making?"

"Chili and baked ziti with sausage. I figured we would need some 'big pot' meals since the rest of the pack is on their way and I'll need to keep you guys fed for the foreseeable future. Is Kim is coming over?"

"Yeah. She said she'd be here in an hour or two, she was visiting her folks."

"Do you mind calling her and asking her to hit the store on her way and grab a couple of gallons of milk?"

Jared nodded, flipping his phone open as he walked to the other side of the room to call his imprint.

Embry and Quil were the next wolves to arrive. Pulling Embry to the side Rachel asked where Sam was. Embry looked down at the floor and then back at her face. He pulled her to the kitchen and leaned over to whisper, hoping that Jake, Paul, Jared and Seth wouldn't hear him.

"He may not be able to get away. Emily's not happy about him coming here without her to look after his ex-fiance. She's jealous of Leah."

"What the fuck is she jealous of?" Rachel hissed. "The fact that she has Sam in her bed every night or that Leah is practically a vegetable?"

Leaning into her ear Embry quietly reported, "Emily has decided that this is just Leah trying to get attention. She wants Sam to stay with her tonight."

Paul was at Rachel's elbow in the next second. The anger rolling off of her was palpable to his wolf. Pulling Rachel into his broad chest she felt him send off calming energy to her. With her head pressed into his chest she told him what Embry had reported and Paul guided her back into the living room. Turning his head to Leah's prone figure as she listlessly sipped water from a bottle held by Seth, Paul's expression became more feral. There was enough real life drama right here in his fucking living room. His sister was probably dying and he was in no mood to put up with Emily's made up shit. He gently pushed Rachel away from his chest and began taking off his shorts.

"Jake, call Sam and tell him to phase. Right. Fucking. Now."

Jake pulled out his cell phone and made the call. Hanging up, Jake nodded to Paul. After quickly stripping out of his shorts Paul exploded into silver fur. Paul's wolf was staring intently at Leah and Seth in the middle of the room. A mournful howl went up from the direction of Sam's house. He was on his way. Wolf 911.

Paul kept his wolf form and crawled onto the mattresses and laid across Leah's legs and feet.

"Rachel, is it OK if I phase and Leah can use me as a pillow?" Quil asked.

"Of course you can phase, sweetie. Why are you even asking?" Rachel answered with a puzzled tone.

"Well, you know . . . it just seems kind of polite to ask the lady of the house if you can get naked in her living room and turn into a giant dog. I mean, both me and my wolf have some serious junk . . . "

"Fuck Quil, really? You had to talk about your dick in front of Rachel?" Embry couldn't help commenting.

Leave it to Quil to diffuse the tension for a minute. Jake's shoulders and arms relaxed for a moment as he grinned at his friend. Laughing, Rachel walked into the kitchen to give Quil and his junk some privacy as he wolfed out.

When she heard Quil's wolf nails clicking on the hard wood floor in the living room, Rachel came back with liter bottles of soda that she put near the food laden table. She noticed that Quil had indeed become Leah's pillow. She was curled on her side gently clutching a handful of Quil's fur. He was practically purring in contentment at being close to his pack sister. Leah's form looked a little more relaxed buffeted by the two wolves at her head and feet.

Minutes later Sam burst through the front door, naked and dripping wet from the rain that had started without Rachel even noticing. Paul jumped up with a growl, herding his mate to the other side of the room while making sure to keep his wolf between Rachel and the Alpha. Quil instinctively curled his body protectively around Leah and reached his huge paw around her to keep her close.

Sam scanned the room with wild eyes, almost inhuman eyes, until he spotted Leah. Striding towards the she-wolf Sam came to an abrupt halt when wolf Paul, wolf Quil, human Jake and human Seth growled at him in warning. Sam's advance towards Leah slowed and he put his hands up in as submissive of a pose as an Alpha can show without being challenged for dominance. The guard dogs let him through. Crawling to the edge of the mattresses he snaked his hand out towards Leah's ankle and held it like a life line.

Rachel ran to the laundry room, grabbed a towel and went to put it over Sam's shoulders. Paul tried to block her out of fear that the Alpha would snap at Rachel for interrupting his contact with the girl he couldn't help but love. Rachel scratched around her husband's furry ears. His really cute furry ears.

"Paul, it's OK. I'm a female without paws. He won't hurt me."

Gritting his fangs, while acknowledging the truth of her words with a shake of his massive head, Paul kept contact with Rachel's side in case he had to move her out of danger. Gently laying the towel on Sam's shoulder's she stepped back. As she was moving back with Paul practically glued to her side, everyone heard Leah groan. She sounded like she was in agony and started to barely whisper what sounded like nonsense to Rachel. But the reaction of the wolves proved that Leah's words made sense in a way that caused all of them pain. Growling, Paul moved to Leah and curled himself around her wherever Quil wasn't touching their sister. He put his massive paw across her body near Quil's paw and enveloped her is silver fur while continuing a low growl.

Jared was crossing the room when he heard Leah. He immediately sank to his knees and moaned in agony. Sam's hand tightened on Leah's leg, like he was trying to keep her grounded to the pack while maintaining his weak defenses against soul crushing despair. Quil let out a heartbreaking whine and tears began falling down his muzzle. Seth put his head down with shaking shoulders and began to sob. Jake looked at Rachel in horror. He couldn't begin to wrap his mind and emotions around the possibility of losing his Beta. Embry's shoulders and head fell forward as he fought to stay standing.

"What is she saying?" Rachel braced for the answer.

Only Embry was willing to answer her and he whispered, "She's asking Sam to let her go. That she's ready to leave this life."


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing but this made up story with characters I don't own.**

Sensing her pack brothers' distress at her words Leah stopped trying to speak. In her mind she thought of it as "sensing" rather than hearing because it was like hearing an echo of someone whispering in a tunnel or hearing a bass note through ear plugs. It was the burning on her ankle that woke her up. It felt blistering hot and she half expected to smell her skin burning. Exhausted from being roused from sleep so painfully and speaking out loud, Leah fell back into the dark sleep.

She hadn't meant to give voice to her decision to leave or cause her pack any pain or trouble. All she wanted was some peace in her life. She was just so tired in her muscles and bones from constantly fighting herself to go on in her limited life. Forever alone. Bound to the reservation. No future except a forever of the same emptiness. The she-wolf could have managed the physical tiredness if the last remnant of her heart hadn't been crushed and then lit on fire until it turned to ash. After two years of seeing Sam and dealing with his guilt in the pack mind for not loving her enough to choose her, it was a final visit to Sam's house that made her give up.

That dreadful day started like any other day. In a lifetime of ordinary beginnings it was down right forgettable. She got up, showered, dressed, ate her weight in eggs and bacon with Seth, brushed her teeth, grabbed her iPod and told her parents she was going to the beach. Her dad sent her off with wishes for a great day and a request to pick up some council files that Sam borrowed. Harry was packing his car for his and Sue's trip the next day to visit cousins on the Makah reservation for a couple of weeks.

Walking through the path to the cliffs near the beach, she enjoyed the cool green tinted light of the forest. She stopped at a few of her favorite places to look at flowers just emerging and watch small critters scurry around trying to stay hidden. Without phasing she never would have been able to r_eally_ hear or see the forest. She would have enjoyed it but not been a part of it without her wolf. There were few benefits to being a wolf but Leah did appreciate the ones she was afforded.

Coming to the cliffs she took the path leading down to the beach at a jog. She felt the tiredness that was her constant companion fade just a little with her increased movement as she pushed to a run. As with everything in her life, Leah's body and mood were frequently conflicted. Tired while bursting with excess energy from her wolf. Leah knew that the tiredness was related to the depression that descended on her when Sam imprinted on her cousin. Knowing it intellectually really wasn't helpful though. It's not like she could go tell a therapist that her fiancé became a wolf, then boned her cousin within a couple of hours of seeing her and then clawed half of her cousin's face. So Leah did what she could, which was try to push through the unrelenting weight of depression through activity.

Her running gait was quite beautiful in its efficiency. Leah's wolf was fast and agile. This translated to making human Leah quick and graceful. She began to embrace Parkour to work off her excess canine energy and to work her mind when confronted with physical obstacles. Keeping her mind so occupied that she couldn't mourn her supernaturally dictated breakup with Sam was an added bonus. Propelling herself over fallen trees and up and over large rock outcroppings became like breathing. Some of the pups wanted to learn and she was training them a couple of times a week. As the only female wolf the pups were naturally drawn to her for her no-nonsense manner that kept them in line, her willingness to let them make their own decisions within reason and her fiery personality that was endlessly amusing. Working with the baby wolves was actually a nice distraction and got her out of her own head.

Baby wolves tended to be so eager to learn that they were easy for Leah to handle. Since leaving Sam's pack it had become less stressful for Leah to be around the original wolf pack. No longer sharing a mind with Paul and Jared was a blessed relief. Her friends had been with her and Sam from the beginning of their relationship through to the bitter end. Paul managed to keep his mind locked down but she hated that he and the others were subjected to Sam's mental slips and her cock withering responses.

One of Sam's inadvertent slips influenced Jake's decision to leave the original pack. All the wolves were phased for a pack meeting and Sam flashed an image of his ex-fiance naked on his bed. Paul growled and snapped his fangs at Sam. Jared had been experiencing simmering resentment towards Sam for a while. He thought Sam wasn't respectful to either his past relationship or his ex by letting the pack see Leah in such a vulnerable position, especially since the she-wolf would then have to experience the other over wolves mental reactions. Jared told the Alpha to keep a fucking lid on his memories or he'd rip his balls off.

Seth phased out immediately while cursing Sam and his entire family back to the first Uley to phase. Awkward didn't even begin to describe Brady and Collin's mental and, unfortunately, physical reactions. It was like being in a porn video when they phased for the next couple of days. A porn video in stereo. Quil at the best of times was mentally unfocused as a wolf. Flashes of Leah, his dream goddess, naked left him unable to form a coherent thought for hours after as a wolf or as a human. The most gentlemanly member of the pack, Embry, was appreciative without being perverted. He was Playboy. The rest of the pack was Hustler.

Jacob's reaction was the most extreme. He immediately turned on Sam and took a bite out of his shoulder, drawing blood and taking away some of Sam's black fur. Sam tried to Alpha order Jake to stop his attach. Jacob Black told him to eat shit and die after calling Sam a mother-fucker. No one but Sam and Jake were focused enough to understand that Jacob hadn't obeyed the Alpha order. Just a few weeks later Jake started his own pack with Seth and Leah.

Leah was thinking about what training exercises she would put the pups through the next time they met as she reached the beach. Running ran flat-out, she jumped over large pieces of drift wood and vaulted over boulders at the line between the beach and forest.

Once she reached the path to Emily and Sam's house from the beach she slowed to a jog and about half way there began to walk. Leah really didn't want to go to Sam and Emily's house but her dad had asked her to pick up those files. Might as well get the unpleasant task over as soon as possible.

Coming closer to her destination she heard Emily on her phone in the yard. She was far enough away from Emily that a human wouldn't have heard the words. With wolf hearing Leah heard every syllable and what she heard made her stop in her tracks.

Please review and let me know what you think about this story.


	6. Chapter 6

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing except this made up story with characters I don't own.**

"Lindy, I swear, the next time I know that Leah's coming over here I'm going to suck Sam off in front of her to make this shit stop. She is such a bitch when she's here. I'm sick of it in my own house," Emily spat out.

"Come on, she's hurting . . . "

"Look, I know that Leah's hurt because of me and Sam . . . but dammit! Sam and I are together now and it's time that she gets over it and just leaves us alone. I miss my friend. But to be honest, it's become too much watching Sam try to reach out to her and Leah always pushing him away. And you should see the way she tries to get Sam's attention. I think that's why she won't talk to me. She's always looking for attention and it's time that Leah grows up and just accepts her life, like an adult."

Wolf hearing was both a blessing and a curse. She heard Emily's sister through the phone ask, "Emily, when I've seen her it's obvious that she's hurt and not looking for attention. She practically tries to become part of the scenery rather than join in most of the time. Just give her some more time, the girl's heart was broken."

"That's what I'm talking about! I can't believe that you don't see that when Leah keeps to herself that all it does is draw attention to herself and her pathetic inability to move on."

"You can't mean that Em."

"Oh, but I do. At this point all I see is a bitch who is keeping me from having a full life with Sam. It just sucks that fate gave us to each other and Leah keeps fucking it up."

"Em, I have to ask . . . do you ever regret what happened? Yeah, I know that imprinting can't be helped, look at Clair and Quil . . . I get to live with that weirdness everyday . . . but you could have been his friend. You didn't have to handle it the way you did. I mean, I know that you lusted after Sam immediately but he and Leah did seem truly happy . . . ".

Emily actually giggled out, "Hey, you can't blame a girl for going for it with a guy like Sam. To be honest, he hadn't even told me about the imprint until after Sue caught us and kicked us out of her house. He was just too yummy to walk away from. I mean really . . . he's great looking, smart and responsible. It sucks that he and Leah were together but it just didn't work out for them. Fate put me with Sam. It sucks for Leah but oh, well."

"Wow sis. Kind of cold don't you think? I thought you actually loved our cuz."

"I can't pretend it was fun between me and Leah when I got with Sam . . . it's been a long time and she still won't speak to me . . . but really she can't keep that up forever. We're family. But I also can't pretend that I regret grabbing Sam when the opportunity presented itself. I have Sam and we're perfect together. He's always looking out for me . . . look, Leah will eventually get over this bump in her life, we'll be friends again and she'll move on to some other guy. I mean, come on! It was just a high school romance. It's not like it was going to last for friggin' ever. Besides, I think that I'm going to help her move by asking her to be a bridesmaid."

"Emily! They were engaged and you know it! It wasn't just a high school romance, they were fixing up the house, the one that you now live in for fuck's sake, for when they got married. How could you even think of asking her to be in your wedding party?! Don't do it! That's just cruel! Oh, Em . . . what the fuck are you thinking?"

Leah felt like she had an unbearable weight on her chest that was pressing out every ounce of hope and strength through her skin. She couldn't even take a deep breath and felt in danger of passing out from shock and hurt. Keeping to the shadows of the forest Leah heard Emily answer her sister.

"Just because you get engaged doesn't mean that there's going to be a wedding. Shit happens all the time and engagements are broken," Emily took a breath and continued, "Anyway, you know that Leah and I promised each other as kids that we'd be each other's bridesmaid . . . "

Leah heard Lindy's snort through the phone, "Don't you dare try to shovel that bullshit my way lil' sis. You can put a wig on a pig but it's still a pig in a wig. This is all about you and don't pretend for one minute that it's about helping Leah. I'm begging you, don't do this. It will end badly and cause a rift in the family. Think of Mom. And Sue. This could destroy their relationship."

"I don't have time to discuss this now but I am going to get Leah to be in my wedding, I've already made my decision. It will happen. Even if I have to guilt Leah and ask mom to talk to Sue. Our aunt can't stay mad at me forever. And yeah, part of it is about me . . . it will help the Tribe accept me as Sam's wife . . . most of the elders don't even want to know me . . . they don't know about imprinting and all they want to remember is Sam with Leah . . . I actually get hissed at when I'm at the Ateara's store by the old women when I go grocery shopping. If Leah would just act right I could live with what I face on the rez. You know that I hate people not liking me . . . anyway, I really do hope that Leah will see that Sam and I belong together by being involved in the wedding. Maybe then she'll just let go and then Sam and I can really start our lives without the ghost of their failed relationship in the room. I think that's the real reason that Sam hasn't proposed yet. I'm his imprint! He knows that we're going to end up together so why not get engaged sooner that than later . . . "

"I had no idea that you've been feeling this way, that you resented Leah . . . " Lindy's voice trailed off with a hollow timber.

With a bitter laugh Emily responded, "Well, guess what . . . it's hard not to resent and hate, just a little bit, the girl who your boyfriend used to love. Especially when your imprint's mother, a woman who should be happy that her son was chosen by fate to have a mate that is perfect for him, makes it clear that she likes the ex more than you and always will. Add that to the whispers going around the rez that you're an ugly, man stealing whore and you end up with resentment and some hatred."

"Look Em, it's time that you accept responsibility for some of how this turned out. I don't want to hurt your feelings but you did almost fuck Sam in Leah's house pretty much 5 minutes after meeting him . . . and of course Allison likes Leah . . . Leah's likable and Leah made her son happy for years. As for you being ugly, you know that you were warned by the council and Sam to not stress him out when he was close to you those first few days. What do you do? You piss him off the very next day while sitting next to him because he wanted to go against the council and tell Leah what was up with imprinting. And let's not forget that you could accept that operation the council offered to pay for in Seattle . . ."

Emily cut her off yelling, "Leah wouldn't have accepted the imprint if she thought that Sam didn't have a choice! Do you know how that made me feel? Do you think that Leah wouldn't have fought for him? I. WANTED. HIM. I deserved Sam! I'M. HIS. IMPRINT. I couldn't help wanting to be with Sam right away! The imprint was so strong! It couldn't be denied! We had to be with each other!"

"Yeah, you just had to fall into bed. Really? Because I'm thinking that you saw an opportunity and just took it, damn the consequences."

Emily's tone became patronizing, "Lindy, no offense but you can't possibly understand imprinting . . ."

"Oh, I understand more than you think lil' sis. Quil is the best friend that Clair could have because that's what's appropriate. He would die for my daughter. It's weird but totally innocent. But let's look at a more adult example . . . Jared broke up with that Annie girl a couple of weeks before he got with Kim so that there wouldn't be any awkwardness at school for either Kim or his ex. Kim told me at the bonfire for Collin and Brady that she really appreciated that kind of thoughtfulness. Kim felt the pull of the imprint during that time but didn't know why but that she wouldn't change anything. She was glad that Jared did things the right way because it allowed her and Jared to start their life together without it feeling like cheating. So give me a break. I've seen the different sides of imprinting and know that it doesn't have to be romantic right off the bat."

"Look Linds, I just can't talk about this right now. I'm upset and I gotta go and get down to the welcome center so I'll talk to you later."

"Em, please reconsider asking Leah to be in your wedding party. This is just every kind of wrong. Leah doesn't deserve this."

"It will be fine! Trust me, Leah is tough. I'll call you in a few days. Love you! Bye!"

Leah heard Emily click her phone shut and her cousin's footsteps as she walked into the house.

Bending at the waist Leah felt dizzy, sick, powerless, and enraged all at once. After spending two years trying to deal with her hurt and the betrayal of her cousin so that she could move on, and hopefully reestablish some sort of relationship with Emily, Leah was confronted with her cousin's true feelings. Emily wanted Sam and didn't care when she crushed Leah by not being honest with what was going on. Emily felt entitled to have Sam. Emily never really gave any thought to Leah and her feelings when she crawled up behind Sam. Emily wasn't sorry for the pain she caused her best friend and cousin. Emily would tear her family apart to get what she wanted. Emily, her cousin and best friend, was a fraud with all her "concern" about Leah and how her "dearest friend" was handling her heartbreak. Emily was more concerned about how she was seen by the Tribe and consumed with wanting Sam that she could care less that she destroyed her cousin ten thousand ways to Sunday. Emily hated Leah.

Leaning against the nearest tree, Leah sank down and curled up into a ball with her arms wrapped around her knees as she laid on her side on the cool leaves. She felt so empty and numb. The she-wolf was hoping to just simply disappear.

After what seemed like hours Leah eventually made herself get up and shuffle home. She'd rather shoot herself in the foot than have another wolf find her pathetic self in the forest by Sam's house. Keeping to the edges of the forest she avoided seeing anyone, wolf or human, as she made her way home.

Finally reaching home, after a walk that felt like it took 6 months and cost her every bit of her diminishing strength, Leah climbed the porch steps to enter the kitchen. She saw Sue's note that she and Harry were doing last-minute errands before their trip. Leah staggered up the stairs to her room and laid down on her bed with a shudder. After using all of her mental energy concentrating on getting home, she now wouldn't have that distraction. She braced herself for the flood of unwanted thoughts about what she'd heard.

After hours of playing Emily's betrayal through her mind like a film loop and sobbing until her eyes burned and couldn't focus, she finally knew the solution to her problems. It was simple really. Her wolf had to go. She would suppress her wolf until her wolf no longer existed. Being around shape shifters and becoming one had taken so much from her life; Sam, her femininity, any hope for children, a future off the rez, privacy, and so many other things that Leah valued.

If her wolf left then she could leave the rez, she wouldn't be bound to the land as a protector. She could leave and have an actual life that didn't include the horror of seeing Emily and Sam all the time. If Leah died from separating from her wolf then she wouldn't feel anything anymore. Kind of a win either way.

Not phasing was difficult and physically painful but Leah was stubborn enough to stay human. Especially feeling as empty as she did after hearing her "best" friend admit that Leah wasn't even a consideration during the whole imprinting cluster fuck. The excess energy that her wolf usually produced didn't appear to be an issue. It felt like her wolf was laying dormant and not pawing at her to get out as usual. Hopefully that energy wouldn't come back and she could expel her wolf.

Knowing that Emily would be asking her to be a bridesmaid was the candle on the craptacular cake that was her life. Well if Leah managed to leave the rez then she couldn't be forced into some piece of shit bridesmaid dress because Leah would simply walk away from the whole fucking mess. If she couldn't get rid of her wolf and leave the rez then she'd be in the ground by the time of the wedding if she had to shoot herself. It occurred to Leah that looking at death with such indifference probably wasn't a totally healthy response.

Laying in the forest after hearing Emily's conversation, Leah began to feel a little removed from her wolf. It felt like her wolf knew that Leah no longer wanted her and the wolf was trying to make herself so small that Leah wouldn't be bothered with her anymore. She felt so tired without her wolf's attention and she fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

Leah vaguely remembered her mother trying to get her up for dinner. Turning over to face the wall, she fuzzily told Sue that she wasn't hungry and needed to catch up with her sleep because of too many patrols.

The next morning Leah only woke up when her parents came in around 7am to kiss her goodbye before leaving on their trip. Her dad asked her to drop the files off at the council offices in the next day or two and Leah grunted an acknowledgement. It was early enough, and Sue and Harry were distracted enough with their trip, that Leah not getting up didn't even register. Her parents left and Leah escaped back into her dreamless sleep in the quiet house.

Over the next 3 or 4 days Leah only left her bed to go to the bathroom, take a one minute shower, get some water and eat a couple of pieces of toast. She found it easier to deny her wolf when sleeping. So Leah slept.

Seth peeked in on her a couple of times and told Jacob that he was worried about his sister. Jake was trying to take care of some things at the Cullens and told Seth that Leah would be OK in a day or two. Instead of essentially being alone at the Clearwater house with only his sleeping sister for company, Seth began to stay with Embry figuring that his sister needed her space.

By about the sixth day Leah had quit taking showers, eating or drinking. Except for waking herself periodically when she turned her body, Leah slept.

Jake realized after a week that he not only hadn't seen Leah, he hadn't felt her phase.

The day after realizing that Leah hadn't phased, Jake found a colder, thinner and mostly unresponsive Leah. The rightful Alpha laid on the bed next to his Beta and tried to hug her into acknowledging her surroundings. He made soft soothing sounds in her ear hoping she would wake up and talk to him. His efforts were wasted.

At dawn Jake realized that his Beta wasn't as warm as a every other wolf. His Beta's hands and feet were freezing. Something was terribly wrong.

Not 5 minutes later Jake wrapped Leah in a blanket and carried his Beta across the rez to Rachel and Paul's house. Paul heard Jacob and had the door open before Jake had set one foot into the yard. Seeing Leah in Jake's arms, Paul rushed down to help and was greeted with Jake's growl. Understanding that the Alpha was taking care of his Beta, Paul ran back into the house to tell his wife about their visitors. Yawning, Rachel took one look at her friends and directed her brother to carry Leah to the guest room. Jacob wouldn't leave Leah's side so Rachel brought him a plate of food and coffee.

After settling Jake and Leah, Rachel told Paul that she was going to visit Sam that morning once Emily left the house. Paul nodded, kissed his wife and went to keep an eye on Sam's house so that he could let Rachel know when Emily left.

It was a couple of hours after getting to Rachel and Paul's house that Jacob realized that it hadn't even occurred to him to go to his father or the council about Leah. After considering what that might mean, the rightful Alpha came to the conclusion that the council had been less than sympathetic to Leah's situation, that he now saw his father as part of the council first and as a father second and that he was finally trying to really take care of his pack. Jacob curled himself around his Beta and prayed.

Leah slept her dreamless sleep.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything, I own nothing except this fanfiction story that is populated with characters that I don't own.**

Everyone was stunned into stillness by the sorrow etched on Rachel's face. Being told that your best friend wants to die was unbearable to Rachel. Finding out that your pack sister would rather fade away that remain with them made the wolves tremble with hurt and confusion. Hearing that the woman you love would rather cease to exist than stay in the world with you led to howls of anguish and pain.

Keeping herself calm, Rachel knelt by the wolves and smoothed Leah's hair from her forehead. She couldn't help thinking of the fearless girl who would rather break her leg than admit that jumping out of the haymow like the boys might not be the best idea. The fact that she was smaller than the boys never entered Leah's mind. She was as physically tough as the boys and mentally tougher than any of the other kids, regardless of their ages. When Leah's leg broke from the jump, aside from a little quiver to her chin, the little girl didn't make a fuss and it was only after her leg collapsed under her that she allowed one of the big boys to carry her home. The look of awe on Sam's face as he followed the boy carrying the brave girl home was something that Rachel would never forget.

Standing up after making sure that Leah was quiet and breathing smoothly, Rachel stumbled out of the room blinded by her unshed tears.

Leaning against the kitchen counter with her head down, Rachel tried to think what to do. Her best friend wanted to die. Leah was giving up and fading more and more each hour. Rachel began to breathe in shuttering sobs that she tried to keep quiet by covering her face with a dishtowel. Wolf Paul could feel his mate's hurt and hear her quiet sobs. He padded into the kitchen on four legs to check on her. Rachel felt Paul pull her down to the kitchen floor by tugging on her shirt with his teeth. She blindly pushed her face into his soft silver fur and tried to regain control as her arms snaked around the wolf.

Watching Leah get weaker and weaker had taken its toll on Rachel but she tried to keep it to herself. Paul knew of his wife's pain of course but he wouldn't discuss her struggles with anyone while Leah was in danger. He understood that his Rachel needed to maintain a certain amount of control. Even if that control was an illusion of organization and movement on the part of his wife. If she was moving with a goal in mind, he knew that Rachel felt like she was working towards something rather than giving in to the chaos of grief. Everyone in the house, except for Seth because he was too young, remembered Rachel's constant movement and housework after her mother's death. They also remembered that she didn't cry and wouldn't talk about her feelings. The only one who understood at that age what their friend was doing to block out her grief was Leah. When Rachel's arms would be trembling from exhaustion from scrubbing the kitchen floor or the bathroom at midnight because the girl couldn't sleep, Leah would gently lead Rachel to bed and lay down quietly talking to her about all the good memories of Rachel's mother until she heard Rachel slip into sleep.

The rumbling sound coming from deep inside Paul gave Rachel something outside of herself to concentrate on. After a few minutes the woodsy smell of her wolf along with the rumbling began to calm Rachel as she straightened up from clutching Paul. Rachel Black Lahote did not fall apart in a crisis. She dealt with the crisis and then fell apart quietly, preferably in an isolated place like a closet, once the crisis was over.

Paul watched his wife gather herself together with a tightening of her muscles and a couple of deep breaths. She looked at Paul full in his wolf face with a slight smile, gave a nod of her head and kissed his soft doggy nose. From a texture standpoint the kiss was so not sexy. But it was filled with thankfulness and love for her husband. With that kiss Paul knew that Rachel was now back in control and ready to manage the human aspects of this shit storm.

The couple had been discussing possibilities and ideas for getting Leah back together in one piece if she didn't improve soon. Paul would help Jacob marshal the wolves and Rachel would manage the human aspect. Well, it was agreed a couple of nights ago, with a giggle and a growl, that it would probably be more like Paul beating the living shit out of the wolves and Rachel browbeating the shit out of the humans to get things done.

It looked like the browbeating was about to commence.

Standing up and bouncing on the balls of her feet, Rachel poured a cup of coffee and turned to Paul, "OK wolf man, time to start Operation Save the Girly Wolf."

After taking a large gulp of coffee she continued, "I'm going outside to talk with my dad in case it gets a little tense. No need to ramp up the tension level in here when you wolves should be concentrating on sending out good vibes to Leah."

Grabbing her cell phone, Rachel dialed the number by heart as she walked onto the front porch.

"Dad, I need Old Quil's phone number. Leah's dying."

* * *

He looked at his brothers wrapped around the woman he still loved and was grateful for their presence and their obvious love for their sister. His wolf wasn't happy with the other Alpha wrapped around his Leah but it if helped her, his wolf could refrain from tearing apart the other lead wolf. He took a moment to thank the spirits that his brothers couldn't hear their Alpha's thoughts.

Through his wolf eyes he saw the girl that was everything that he and his wolf wanted and needed. Her physical beauty was undeniable and could be appreciated by everyone who saw her; her coppery skin that was several shades lighter than his, her soft thick black hair, her gorgeous dark eyes that could change from thoughtfully soft to laughing to snapping with anger in the blink of an eye, her normally thin but feminine body that changed into a soft silver wolf, her smile that made him feel that anything was possible and her graceful movements as a woman and as a wolf. Her inner beauty was just as stunning; his Leah was fiery in her convictions, not afraid of anything or anyone, was tender towards others and loved with every stubborn fiber of her being. She was made to love and look after others. She saw the good and the bad in others but accepted everything when she loved someone. She had really been trying to peel away the bitchiness that protected her from further hurt after imprinting fucked up her life. He and his wolf were pining for the she-wolf and hated that they had failed to express their love for her and look after her as she deserved. If she didn't pull through this he would die also. He could finally admit to himself after all that time that he wasn't complete without her. He had been willfully blind to her place in his life and heart. It was up to him to get her though this and make sure that he let her know every day just how precious and vital she was to him.

Curling his tail around her body to cover the small portion of her leg that wasn't covered by her pack brothers' fur, he felt her fingers move into his thick pelt. He almost purred in satisfaction at her touch and actually let out a sigh when he felt her clutch a handful of her fur. He saw it as a sign that she recognized him and his wolf. He needed her to feel his presence so that he could begin to make up for turning a blind eye towards his Leah.

* * *

The silence on her dad's end of the phone line wasn't helping Rachel's mood. Not. One. Little. Bit. Pacing up and down the porch she waited for her father to respond. She knew that she could just show up at Old Quil's house but she wanted to give her dad a chance to act more like a father and not the Chief. Just once. The longer the silence stretched out the more she saw that today wasn't the day that Billy Black would choose his children over every other consideration. Oh, well. She gave him enough rope and he was hanging himself. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have but she didn't hesitate. The life of her friend and the well-being of the pack depended on her and she wasn't going to be ignored because of some Tribal bureaucratic bullshit.

Her father's seeming inability to put his children first was a long-standing and festering sore spot for Rachel. After her mother's death her father climbed into a bottle for over a year and apparently couldn't see his own kids through the whiskey labels. She and Rebecca had taken care of Jake and the house while finishing school. The three kids were confused by their father's emotional absence and his inability to stop the toll that alcohol had on his health. Billy finally sobered up about two months before the twins left home after ending up in a wheelchair because of diabetes. By that time was too late. He was a stranger to his daughters and they had finalized their plans for leaving their father's house. The girls hated leaving Jake but their brother told them that he understood and would join Rachel in Seattle as soon as he graduated. Billy never even saw that his children had grown so close, especially Jacob and Rachel. Billy didn't see a lot of things during that bleary time.

While she acknowledge to herself that she may have daddy issues, Rachel was concerned that her father save face as much as possible. Stepping off the porch so that her father wouldn't be embarrassed if a wolf heard her words or tone to the chief of the Quileute, she walked towards the outdoor shed. It was raining but she didn't even notice as she heard her father draw in a deep breath through the phone.

"Look dad, there's some heavy shit going down right now and you acting like the Chief and not your kids' dad isn't helping anything. We've already had enough of that crap when you wouldn't tell the Cullens to leave when the guys started phasing because of your mistaken attempt to honor your grandfather's treaty. It's time to pay that bill and help the guys and Leah."

"All the wolves are there, aren't they Rachel," Billy's deep voice was solemn.

"All except the baby wolves. Colin and Brady are patrolling. Let me guess, you know they're here because I'm pretty sure that Emily is having a fucking cow right about now and is calling every Council member she can find. Do you know that she actually told Sam that Leah is faking? Emily is a sorry excuse for a human being."

"I understand your distress over your friend but the Council has the best interests of the entire pack to consider. That includes the imprints -"

Rachel cut off her father without a second thought, "LEAH IS PACK! What is wrong with you and those other over the hill wannabe wolves on the Council?! She deserves just as much consideration at one of the guys and more consideration than an imprint. She risks her life to save your life! But you just keep trying to ignore the fact that she even exists!"

"Emily is the imprint of one of the Alphas. She and her place are important to the Pack and she has a right to be upset that her wolf is taking care of another woman against her wishes."

"Oh, yeah. Because an Alpha should be at the beck and call of an outsider who is a self-centered bitch. Leah may phase into a wolf but she always puts others first and you know it. Why the fuck is Emily given this kind of power? Is she providing sexual favors to the Council? Why is that cu-"

"ENOUGH," Billy roared. Taking a deep breath he continued in a normal voice, "You have no idea what it has been like for the Elders. We see our children and grandchildren risking their lives every day. We see their relationships get destroyed. But despite this we have to do what is right for the Tribe as a whole. Part of doing right by the tribe is maintaining the traditions like imprinting. Imprinting calms the wolf and provides stability, allowing the wolf to hear what the Council and Tribe need . . . "

Rachel was not longer listening to her father's words as he rambled on about the ass kissing beauty of imprinting. She knew there was something that she was missing about her father's slavish devotion to imprinting and overt concern about Emily. She put her head down and thought about the connections between the Council, the wolves, the imprints and all of their interactions. What was the common thread, the connection? Sam, Jared, Quil, Emily, Billy, Harry, Old Quil, the Cullens . . . There was a blurry little tickle at the back of her mind that was coming into focus. Almost there . . . right at the edge of her consciousness . . . Rachel's head snapped up when that connection came into mental focus. Holy shit!

"Oh my God. I just figured it out. You, the Council and the Elders like imprinting because is can be used to control the wolves. That bitch Emily has been feeding the Council information on Pack business and she's been trying to advise Sam based on what the Council wants. That's why she has the job at the Welcome Center, right under the Council's collective nose. You've tried to turn Sam into the wolfy version of the Manchurian Candidate."

Rachel hoped she was wrong but there was something about this that just made everything fit; Sam not only not fighting the imprint but being one of the staunchest supporters of imprinting, Harry's insistence that Sam and Leah stay away from each other after the imprint, Old Quil's proclamations that no one could ever break an imprint. Rachel felt dizzy from the realization. These old men never looked any further in the legends because they didn't want to know. They turned their backs on their children and grandchildren as individuals to gain some control over the Pack as a whole.

Billy's silence was confirmation and Rachel felt sick to her stomach just imagining what kind of fucked up justifications the Council came up with to make their actions seem reasonable. Rachel cringed at the thought but it had to be said. Confirmed or denied before she would know how to deal with her father and the rest of the Council. Her father's response would decide if the Council was just selfish or willfully responsible for taking the childhoods and futures away from the Pack.

"Dad, you didn't deny Emily's part in guiding Sam in Pack decisions. Let's see if you can deny that he Council wanted a Pack, that's why you didn't ask the Cullen's to leave after Sam began to show signs of phasing." The few words trailing off into a whisper.

The Chief, her father, denied nothing. Rachel pulled the phone away from her head, bent over at the waist and heaved into the earth. The vomit spilled out like poison. Wiping her mouth with her hand she felt calmer after expelling the bile. Putting the phone back to her ear she finally heard her father's inadequate response.

"Rachel, I know that you're upset. Please calm down and we'll figure out what to tell the wolves when the time is right," Billy's voice was smooth and almost hypnotic.

Rachel had figured out when she was about eight years old that her father used his voice like an instrument. She was so over this mind game.

"Too late Dad. I've given the imprint information to Sam and Jake. They will tell the younger wolves. This imprinting shit ends now. And I'm sure that you understand that I'll be telling the Pack about keeping the Cullens close so that the Council could have their Pack."

"That is not your decision! The Elders are the ones who counsel the wolves," Billy thundered.

"Not anymore. The original wolves are grown men now and the wolves are taking control of themselves. They are not going to be spoon fed incomplete or incorrect information and just willingly accept what the council tells them. You, Old Quil, Harry and the rest of the Council made decisions that changed people's lives. You gave out information that was incomplete because you didn't want to actually read what was right in front of you. Because of you and the council, my best friend and your son's Beta is fading away. Because of you and the council, Sam lost the love of his life. Because of you and the council, my husband and I couldn't be honest about our relationship with our family and friends. So I'm really fucking tired of you and the Council right now." Rachel ended the call with a decisive snap of her phone.

Rachel knew that saving Leah was the number one priority and that the rest of this shit could wait. Straightening her back she mentally prepared to go grab Old Quil and kidnap him if she had to in order to save her friend.

Stomping across the yard and up the porch stairs, Rachel entered the house in time to hear Sam growl while Jake's wolf licked Leah's ear and neck. Quil and Embry began to nuzzle and lick Leah's arms while Seth and Jared concentrated on her lower legs. Paul was watching Sam and obviously ready to rip the Alpha a new one if he growled again. OK. That was some new wolf behavior that Rachel hadn't seen before but if it helped Leah then she was all for it, even if the idea of all that wolf spit wasn't very appetizing.

"Quil, is your grandfather at home tonight? One yip for yes and two for no." Rachel, for about the hundredth time since coming back to the rez, realized that her college education really hadn't prepared her for this life.

Quil yipped once.

Looking at the group of wolves while they groomed their she-wolf was amazing. They were so careful to only uncover her from their fur on the parts they were quietly licking and nuzzling. After a moment watching Rachel understood the canine behavior. Leah's drop in body temperature had made her circulation slow down and her limbs lose a little color. Leah's face actually looked a little more relaxed and she didn't have that little frown she had been sporting recently. The rough warm tongues were the equivalent of a tissue massage. They were literally trying to get her blood pumping through Leah's extremities. Rachel was proud of her husband's smart and practical pack. No hands? Use what you have, even if it did produce a lot of wolf spit.

Of course Sam wasn't happy about other guys licking his love but he'd just have to suck it up and deal. Rachel went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She grabbed her car keys and walked back into the room and grabbed a pair of shorts from the floor

"Sam, would you phase back and ride with me to Old Quil's house?" Having a wolf with her certainly wouldn't hurt her chat with Old Quil, particularly one with a vested interest in Leah's well-being. Bonus points for removing a wolf from the puppy pile who was distracting the others from their therapeutic licking.

The giant black wolf looked at Paul and Rachel saw them communicate through the pack mind. Paul's eyes were intently concentrated on Sam and the black wolf gave a nod. With an audible wolf sigh, Sam phased and grabbed the shorts from Rachel before she could even react.

"Sure Rach." Sam responded to Rachel but he couldn't take his eyes off of Leah's face.

Grabbing his hand, Rachel pulled on it until he followed her out the door and into her vehicle.


End file.
